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Shared Custody of Moonalia / LadyBohemia Pearls

We just had a lovely photoshoot at my home studio with my darling friend Oona. After some 8 hours of preparation, photographing, posing and sweating in the +30 degress... We concluded that we simply can not give up some of my most beautiful treasors. Not only that, we both wanted them... 

In the spirit of friendship, we agreed on shared custody for those pieces that fit us both :). They are now visiting Bali with Oona :). 

Here are some of the pearls of our photoshoot:
Most elegant smoky quartz shade dress, decorated with white freshwater pearls. Divine lace back, fully decorated with pearls also.
For a second marriage maybe? 
Moonalia Dream top siz3 36, 60 e plus shipping
Cotton Lace skirt, 180 e plus shipping
Well, this cream ensemble could go for the first wedding then...
Lamiales Corset and Skirt 250e + shipping
Moonalia Dream top size 36, 70 e plus shipping
Lovely decoration with three rosies in rosa, buttons and gauze.
Moonalia Dream top size 36, 70 e plus shipping
Creamy Lace Cotton skirt, 180 e plus shipping 
Moonalia Dream Top, 60 e plus shipping
Skirt, stretchy and soft so fits many sizes and shapes 
White, 180 e plus shipping
Moonalia Dream top size 36, 70e plus shipping
Moonalia Dream Cotton skirt, size 36-38, 80 e plus shipping 
(light yellow stain on bottom side)
If you are interested in these summer wonders do send me or Oona a private message <3.
Sunny summer hugs from LadyBohemia <3

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One blended family

My kids recently left for a holiday in Spain, France and Italy with their dad, his beloved (E), and E's 2 children. All six of them. 

At the same time my phone entirely stopped working. While I had it fixed there was the longestt break I've ever had without talking with my children. 
Felt so bad - what if they thought I didn't even think about them... Tried to contact them every time I was around a functioning phone. No success, kids' phones didn't have pre paid or other connection, their father's phone always closed. My boys don't have social media presence.

I called E from my mother's phone. She didn't answer but I was able to leave a message. I tried to swallow my tears but I think they went through anyways... Told her my phone is broken, can't reach my kids, if she could please tell them I'm thinking about them and miss them. 
She heard my unspoken tears. Being the person she is, some 10 minutes later she sent me a bundle of photos of my boys, and had told them I'd done all I could to reach them.
Such a wonder for me to see my kids, to know they understand why I've suddenly stopped calling. Such a wonder how kind she is. Well, I knew it from before but this was yet another moment that touched me deeply. 
Apparently, it is possible to make a kind of 'blended' family work beautifully. For the smiles on my children's faces, I thank her. In this photo and on that holiday are her little ones, and my sisten's kids - best friends with my boys.  Blended indeed.
They are happy. All six children.
What else matters. 

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A Curveball

After coming across the letter of my last blog post I couldn't stop crying. I lived that moment again, again, again. Decided that this life just isn't worth getting out of bed. 
Then Facebook, arguably one of the most shallow of social medias, threw me a curveball. I was to celebrate my one-year friendship with a wonderful person. 

This woman is a doctor who had visited my store but I didn't know her personally. When she heard of my tragedy she immediately came by to offer her condolences, and more.
She told me that if and when I'd need help I could come to meet her. Anytime. Without cost. Without making a reservation. I was so broken at that time that I could barely function at all. I'd been prescribed sick leave  but as an entrepreneuer couldn't take it. So I dragged myself to work whenever humanly possible.
So finished I was, that sometimes when I came home from work I didn't even have the strength to make it to bed. I could sleep on the floor, just inside my door. If I took a shower, sometimes I just pulled the towel over myself and slept on the bathroom floor. 
I hardly ate anything, remembered to drink water basically when I started feeling like fainting. 
Trying to work in that state... Not easy. So many people didn't understand what I was going through and - meaning well - criticized me for not doing my job well enough. Of course I didn't do it well enough. But I did my very best. At that point, my very best just was very, very little. 
But this post is not about complaining, no. It's about celebration. 
Along came this woman... In my eyes, an angel. She got me, at first glance she understood.  
I didn't need words to explain or justify myself. She knew that if I'd have to make a single step of extra effort, I wouldn't even be able to receive the help I needed. She understood that if I had to make a phone call to make a reservation for her - I'd never get there. I was at the very edge of my limits. So, she said that I can indeed come at any time, any day, come knock on her door and she would receive me. I don't know how she handled her other patients. She just did.
Sweetly she hugged me and walked away. Only to come straight back, to give me her private phone number. She really was intent on not leaving me alone in that train wreck of my life.
Who does that? Basically, for a stranger? 
During that year I discovered the lowest ways of treating others. But also, I discovered ultimate kindness.  
And today as I was wallowing in self pity, Facebook popped up to tell me I am to celebrate my one-year friendship with this lovely lady. 
I got out of bed, into a bikini, and am now sitting on smooth rocks by the sea. The breeze and the sun are hugging me. 
Breathing feels possible. 
Rina <3. 
 
 
 

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After all this, nothing can hurt me any more

Today an old message of popped up out of nowhere as I was checking my mails. Official routes had gotten me nowhere so a friend had given me the personal contact infromation of a police officer friend of hers.
Writing that email had been a haze but I remember and feel the despair of that moment, raw as ever.
Sorry it's in Finnish, I have no strength to translate. Google will do it for u if you wish.
'Hei xxx (poliisin edustaja),

sain yhteystietosi xxx:ltä, joka ystävällisesti tarjoutui auttamaan minua elämäni syvimmän epätoivon hetkellä.

Rakastettuni (XXX) kuoli liikenneonnettomuudessa päivänä xx. 

Olimme muuttaneet yhteiseen kotiin päivää ennen hänen kuolemaansa. 

Minä ja rakastettuni olimme menossa naimisiin mutta koska emme vielä olleet naimisissa emmekö olleet edes ennättäneet muuttaa kirjojamme uuteen kotiimme, ei minulla ole mitään virallista asemaa elämäni rakkauden elämässä ja kuolemassa. 9- ja 11 -vuotiaat poikani ikävöivät häntä suunnattomasti eikä tässä maailmassa ole mitään millä voisin heitä lohduttaa.

Olen yrittänyt selvittää missä rakkaani on ja onko minun mahdollista käydä häntä hyvästelemässä. Olen soittanut poliisin vaihteeseen mutta siellä ei tiedetä mitään. Poliisin neuvontapalveluihin olen jonottanut lukemattomia kertoja, mutta sinne ei pääse läpi. Jokainen soitto päättyy ilmoitukseen 'palvelussamme on ruuhkaa, emme voi juuri nyt ottaa vastaan puheluanne, soittakaa myöhemmin uudestaan'. Poliisi, jolta sain kuolinviestin (numero josta hän soitti), ei vastaa puheluihini ollenkaan.

Lopulta soitin hätäkeskukseen, kertoen että tiedän etteivät he varsinaisesti hoida näitä asioita mutta voisivatko he edes neuvoa minua mihin voin ottaa yhteyttä. Hätäkeskuspäivystäjä löi luurin korvaani.

Voisitko joku kertoa mistä on kysymys? Voinko käydä jossakin hyvästelemässä rakkaani? Tämä olisi ehdottomasti ollut hänen tahtonsa. Ei ole kyse vain minusta, vaan ennen kaikkea siitä kunnioitetaanko poismennyttä ihmistä ja hänen tahtoaan.

Jos rakkaani vammat ovat niin vakavat, että minun on mahdotonta nähdä häntä, hyväksyn sen. Tai jos hänen perikuntansa on kieltänyt antamasta minulle mitään tietoja, olisi mielestäni kohtuullista saada tietää edes se. Olen tilanteessa jossa en kykene ajattelemaan, toimimaan, syömään, nukkumaan - jopa hengittäminen sattuu - tehnyt kaikkeni selvittääkseni voinko vielä hyvästellä rakkaani jollain tavalla.

Mutta en edes tiedä onko hänet jo haudattu.

Koen tämän tilanteen äärettömän julmaksi.

Oli lopullinen vastaus - juridinen tai inhimillinen - mikä hyvänsä, sekin auttaisi minua pienenpienen askeleen eteenpäin surutyössäni.

Pyydän että edes vastaisitte minulle. 

Särkynein terveisin,
Kaisu Haumont

Well... A wise therapist told me that one day my life will be light. After all this, nothing can hurt me any more.

 

My babe. You so loved this stupid snaphsot of me.  You so loved it when I smiled. So, where ever you are, and be it through tears, I'm sending you a smile.

Miss you tonight. Miss you every night. 
Miss you every single day. 

Little word from a year ago.
Love you forever.


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When the mail brings you Rose Petals....

I was going through a tough day and feeling very much alone when the postman came. Grrrrrrr I thought, yet another bill. 

But this one was handwritten and very thick. 
Rose petals, scent of roses, a silver photo frame... This adorable gesture made me so happy it brought tears to my eyes. AND, this bird has a very deep symbolic meaning to me. It's almost too much.
Well, it would seem I have a Secret Admirer <3. And a gentleman, for that matter. Thank you my lovely stranger. I wish you knew how much this meant to me.
 Ps. In fact, there is a person whom I don't know but to whom I owe deep thankfullness. I think I'll write a letter <3.