A Curveball

After coming across the letter of my last blog post I couldn't stop crying. I lived that moment again, again, again. Decided that this life just isn't worth getting out of bed. 

Then Facebook, arguably one of the most shallow of social medias, threw me a curveball. I was to celebrate my one-year friendship with a wonderful person. 

This woman is a doctor who had visited my store but I didn't know her personally. When she heard of my tragedy she immediately came by to offer her condolences, and more.

She told me that if and when I'd need help I could come to meet her. Anytime. Without cost. Without making a reservation. I was so broken at that time that I could barely function at all. I'd been prescribed sick leave  but as an entrepreneuer couldn't take it. So I dragged myself to work whenever humanly possible.

So finished I was, that sometimes when I came home from work I didn't even have the strength to make it to bed. I could sleep on the floor, just inside my door. If I took a shower, sometimes I just pulled the towel over myself and slept on the bathroom floor. 

I hardly ate anything, remembered to drink water basically when I started feeling like fainting. 

Trying to work in that state... Not easy. So many people didn't understand what I was going through and - meaning well - criticized me for not doing my job well enough. Of course I didn't do it well enough. But I did my very best. At that point, my very best just was very, very little. 

But this post is not about complaining, no. It's about celebration. 

Along came this woman... In my eyes, an angel. She got me, at first glance she understood.  

I didn't need words to explain or justify myself. She knew that if I'd have to make a single step of extra effort, I wouldn't even be able to receive the help I needed. She understood that if I had to make a phone call to make a reservation for her - I'd never get there. I was at the very edge of my limits. So, she said that I can indeed come at any time, any day, come knock on her door and she would receive me. I don't know how she handled her other patients. She just did.

Sweetly she hugged me and walked away. Only to come straight back, to give me her private phone number. She really was intent on not leaving me alone in that train wreck of my life.

Who does that? Basically, for a stranger? 

During that year I discovered the lowest ways of treating others. But also, I discovered ultimate kindness.  

And today as I was wallowing in self pity, Facebook popped up to tell me I am to celebrate my one-year friendship with this lovely lady. 

I got out of bed, into a bikini, and am now sitting on smooth rocks by the sea. The breeze and the sun are hugging me. 

Breathing feels possible. 

Rina <3.