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Last week, I organized my first ever fashion show. So much fun, but as it was a very important evening for my little company, there was also stress and rush. I did my best to keep my cool at home as my boys easily worry for me if they sense I'm upset or distressed... Thought I'd managed.

Next day the show was over - I was deliriously happy, and utterly wiped out. Had crawled into bed without even having the energy to take my clothes off. My son was with his father that week and called me with his sweet yet determined voice: "Maman I want to come to see you!" First time for a visit when it's the other parent's turn to take care of them... Hmm. "I'm really tired honey I'm in bed, not much fun for you". His mind was made up "You can sleep, I just want to look at you". Strange, but you don't say no to a child who wants to be with you.

He came - alone from one home to another - first time ever, too. His little face was cold from winter and alarmed with worry. As soon as he saw me peek under the blankets and smile at him, his concern melted away.

He had come to check for himself that everything had gone well and I wasn't feeling low or lonely.

Of course I had told him over the phone that things were wonderful but he knows I wouldn't easily tell him even if the evening had been a disaster... So he wanted to read it from my face.

He crawled to bed under my blanket, asked if everything was fine, I said couldn't be better. Now he felt it was true. He played with my hair and hummed away little songs as he's done since being a baby... I kept on dozing off...

Suddenly he said he wants to run to the store to get something. Another first. A surprise, he said.

He came back beaming with pride... He'd bought me milk for my morning coffee... There's no getting me out of bed without it, he'd seen the empty fridge. AND he had bought me a bar of my favorite chocolate, placed in on my pillow.

"Okay I must go. Homework." Now relaxed and happy, he energetically kissed my face all over. "Don't get up. Sweet dreams ma petite Maman".

It's true what they say... It's the little big things that truly matter. In my book that visit, milk and chocolate go down as the most beautiful display of love imaginable.

[caption id="attachment_14880" align="aligncenter" width="1000"] Taken at a time I swore to always protect him... And in just 10 years, it goes both ways. Can't believe how lucky I am.[/caption]

Morning

while the early dawn's cold wind, 
bruises against your lovely cheeks, 
may my longings gently pass, 
through the air, into your waking self ... 

for it shall bring along my passions, 
the kisses that I scattered for you, 
looking at the starry night sky, and 
the hugs that I sent looking at the lonesome moon. 

place your palms soft on your restful face, 
let it convey the warmth and heat, 
that my burning body released into the bed, 
while tossing and turning sleeplessly in your memory ... 

while you are ready to take on the world, 
gently-softly open the windows of your heart and soul. 
let me reside there intoxicated in your contemplation, 
smiling with you in joys and burning with you in times of rage and pain

- Doni Rimo -

My dear readers, dear friends. I am so sorry for not having written to you in such a very long time. And starting again is surprisingly difficult... Such a threshold there is, almost like a mountain to climb, to reach you again. So I've not had the courage to Just Do it.

But now, let me try, even if it won't be perfect. If it won't even be good.

Here goes. This past year has been the roughest in my whole life. I've lost someone I loved. This broke me down so badly I still don't know how to get up. Then, divorce. Loosing my home. I lost several family members too, was left very much alone. I've been let down by people I trusted; unbelievable yet true, both my money and my identity were stolen... Both by people I had considered as friends. My health was bad, so was the health of my darling youngest son.

I lost my ability to write.

But now finally I am in a safer place in life, in my own little apartment, where I feel I can breathe. Where the loves of my life, my two boys, feel at home.

So I struggle to find my words again.

This is my first little step. Thank you for bearing with me.

~*<3*~

last summer we toured nearby vineyards and little châteaus for wine tastings with friends who were visiting our little haven in the South of France... * * [caption id="attachment_10870" align="aligncenter" width="400"] my sweet friend Hanna-Maria[/caption] In this particular château they had developed a rosé bottle that resembled a perfume bottle... Beautiful. Our friends were celebrating their fourth wedding anniversary just the following day so this is the bottle we chose for them.

* One of the things I most love about France is how full of history every last corner of this country is. This little castle and vineyard was German stronghold during the Second World War. They left the owners and their staff a couple of rooms and occupied the rest. One of the survivors, a madame Romer, worked for my French family for years after the war and told how she'd stolen food from the Germans' dog for her children so they'd survive. Even the dog was allowed so much better food than the locals of the occupied France. Incredibly, madame Romer also hid a Jewish man from her village in the stables of the castle throughout the war, right under the noses of the German troops. She was able to steal enough food for him and provide him a safe place, but he couldn't set a foot outside his hiding place before the country was liberated. He survived. [caption id="attachment_10861" align="aligncenter" width="500"] my son ♥![/caption] Before and after the war, all the children from nearby villages would come to swim in the castle's large water tank when temperatures soared up to 40 degrees in the summertime. Still today, some of us were tempted...

My kids immediately caught the photogenic vibe of the place ♥. [caption id="attachment_10865" align="aligncenter" width="500"] There's magic everywhere... If only you have the eyes to see it.[/caption] This vineyard was one of the first places of Provence to be liberated; it was here that the first paratroopers landed from airplanes. I still get shivers just thinking about it all. ~*♥*~