Goodbye Letters

At our farewell party of LadyBohemia Boutique my darling friend Mericke said something that stayed within me, raised some clear inner certainty.

'Only allow people that make your soul chime stay in your life. I see there are so many others that suck the life out of you'. 

She had watched me recently, and was incredibly accurate in pointing out moments that had taken away my strength and spirit, left me wasted as desert land. A conversation of ill will that I didn't manage fight off, a text, a belittling look. Not the fault of anyone else but mine for letting it be.

I went to my safe place, my little beloved shop, late in the evening and lit up my candles. And suddenly it was clear who is loving, true, walked the walk they talked. Of course most of it was already set in my heart but some of my disillusionment, sorrow, forgiveness came through during that lonely night. I stayed there, at my shop, till something close to 5 o'clock in the morning.

I said my quiet goodbyes and I made them kind. Despite tears I knew by the time the candles would all die out I could have my peace. 

I listened to music so beautiful I just needed it, stared at the candles. And wrote letters. Letters of all the love shared - let's face it, nobody could really hurt you if you hadn't loved them - asking for forgiveness of the wrong I had done, letters of closure, letters of letting go. 

I know better than to have loose ends in my life. If I love somebody I make them feel it every chance ever. Sometimes there is no tomorrow.

Despite, there were things and people to say goodbye to, dating back no longer than weeks - how quickly does it happen! - haunting me.

Most likely nobody will ever see these letters I wrote. I think they will be of no interest to anybody but me.

But I am set free. 

Goodbye my friend. I sincerely wish you all the best.